We agree that family is important and valuable, but only when it’s not a torture chamber.
If your relationship has at least one item from the first to the fourth, you just need to act here and now. Fifth, sixth and seventh items are not really dangerous for your health; however, it’s impossible to be truly happy if you have them in your life.
Alcohol, drugs and gambling. If a partner drinks, uses drugs or likes gambling, it is quite naive to expect that you will save them from this plague; although this belief is one of the most common. By “saving” an alcoholic you are simply not able to help him, because the person simply shifts the responsibility, and it doesn’t solve the problem. And secondly, you are drowning in codependency, gradually losing yourself under its yoke.
2. Physical violence
If the partner raises their hand at you, there is no chance that it will be different in the near future. It won’t happen. Never. The line is already crossed and there can only be games of “I’m so sorry! I won’t do this again!”,while you will suffer from new fights and attempts to apologise. This whole cycle has been already studied by psychologists and all victims without exception will have the same scenario again and again.
3. Violence against children.
You are responsible for the physical and psychological well-being of your child. Thus, by staying in a place where they are beaten and humiliated, you simply agree with this. No one will protect the child, except his parents. Your child is not yet able to do this.
4. Psychological violence.
This is the situation when a partner humiliates and uses you, manipulates, behaves like a tyrant, infringes, restricts, blackmails, while you don’t have the right to vote. By thinking that “I am provoking this myself” you simply confirm that you are being manipulated.
5. Systematic betrayal.
The partner constantly has sexual relations somewhere else and they don’t want to be with you no matter what. You suffer, while the other side:
- asks for forgiveness and continues to live and act in the same spirit;
- says that you’re making it up;
- says that he will do whatever he wants;
- hiding behind polygamy and other things from the animal world;
Everyone is entitled to one mistake. But in the case of the system, you don’t have to wait for the lucky future.
6. No will to solve the issues.
The partner has serious problems and doesn’t want to solve them. For example, he doesn’t want to work and all family routine and support become only your responsibility. They may suffer from fits of anger or jealousy. He can roughly grab you or use swear words, while having no will to ask for help.
All your quarrels or omissions are blamed on you.
Your partner is physically repulsive and unpleasant to you. Maybe both of you are sick of each other, and every time you spend time together turns into hell. Shared time brings only unpleasant emotions, and you both try to avoid it. You can’t feel happy while thinking about the future with that person.