It’s so often that we hear sad things from people about how hard they try, how they follow all the necessary rules, how they say no to themselves for the sake of others, and for some reason, they only get negativity instead of happiness and stable relationships.
This is the fault of toxic and most importantly, unrealistic ideas about life which make up a so-called “good girl” syndrome. Let’s see whether you have it.
Read the next statements carefully and “apply” them to yourself and your life.
1.Good, correct behavior is rewarded, that’s fair. Sooner or later, all efforts will bear fruit.
2. Other people’s interests must be put above your own.
3. If you put yourself first, it’s selfishness.
4. Selfishness is very bad. Nobody likes selfish people.
5. Better to do as they say than to object.
6. A bad peace is better than a good war. We must avoid conflicts by any means necessary.
7. If a person important to me did something wrong, then they had a good reason. And my task is to accept it, because love means forgiving for everything.
8. The most important thing is taking care of your loved ones.
9. It’s very important to constantly praise a person. Even for every little thing. Even if there’s nothing to praise, you need to find a reason. This way, you’ll become support and inspiration for him.
10. Bad emotions don’t suit you. Anger, irritation, displeasure must be hidden.
11. Even if you are in a bad mood, you need to pretend that you are perfectly fine. Even if you don’t like this or that person it’s necessary not to show it. Even if something happens in the relationship that you don’t want, be patient and smile.
12. When a loved one suffers or derails his life, your task is to save them by all means. A kind word, affection, understanding and acceptance can heal all ailments and make anyone happy.
13. The most important thing is to understand how other people function, what makes them happy, and how to make them love me.
14. If they don’t approve of me, I feel very bad and anxious.
15. The most important thing is to be needed.
Do you recognize yourself and your approach to life in these statements? If yes, then the good girl syndrome is your problem.
Why is it bad?
Firstly, this perfection is unattainable. And you will always feel that you’re not good enough, not beautiful enough, not right enough.
Secondly, it’s not possible to make everyone around you happy – people are too different.
Thirdly, it’s not possible to be happy by ignoring your emotions and feelings, and your unrealized desires and unsaid works, unfulfilled expectations are a great confirmation of that.
Fourthly, people with the “good girl” syndrome are often used. This is an axiom. If you are doing your best to bend down, please, adjust to others whilst forgetting about yourself, then there will definitely be those nearby who will use that without giving anything in return .
What can you do? Get rid of it and learn to communicate, taking your own interests into account as well.
The course “Happy girl” would be perfect for that. Search for it in the “Courses” section. There, you’d be able to figure out with the ideas about convenience that get in the way of happiness, find a balance between yourself and others, grow up.