There is no one unique recipe for building and maintaining an ideal relationship. Every relationship has its own perspective on what is good for us and what isn’t for us at all. Of course, no one’s getting rid of the other important foundations such as love, respect, trust… However, don’t forget that life, in fact, is made up of many little things, and the future of your relationship depends on how much attention you give these little things.So today we’re talking about rituals: those small, constantly recurring “ceremonies” in a relationship.
We’ve put together some examples that may inspire you.
1. The Classic of the Genre
Yes, the tradition that we’re talking about is greeting someone or saying farewell with a kiss or hug. Even if your relationship has been going on for many years, nothing is as good as being kissed by a loved one. Choose any time of the day to follow through with this ritual: waking up, leaving to work, coming home, going to bed… it will only take a few seconds, but it’ll give each of you a sense of confidence for the love and intimacy you share.
2. Important Dates
First, you should take the time to celebrate birthdays, New Year’s Eve, and so on, in a way that’s special to you. For example, for a birthday you should definitely plant a new plant together (in the street, at your summer cottage, on a window sill, and so on), or every December 31st, have breakfast outside the house (such as in a cafe, at your mother’s, or in the park).
Next, you can celebrate dates that you invent yourself. For example, the last Saturday of each month could be a pajama day, celebrate every anniversary of your first kiss or intimate moment by renting a hotel room (going to the sauna, riding on rollercoasters…), celebrate your cat or dog’s birthday with a barbecue in the woods, and so on.
3. I write to you…
A good ritual, for those lovers of all things put to paper, is to write letters or leave notes for each other. You can put them under your loved one’s pillow, in a lunch box near the food and thermos, you can leave “messages” or “reminders” on the fridge or on a magnetic board, or send cards to each other if you’re separated due to something like a business trip.
4. For Kind Words…
…you can use a pot, a jar, or a chest and put notes of gratitude to each other for something specific, or just leave compliments. Once a month (or less often), open it up and read the nice notes.
5. Keep me safe, my talisman.
Remember when we used to give each other all sorts of different trinkets as kids? If you often have to separate with the person you love (even for a couple of days), try to recreate this ritual. When leaving, let him or her take something along that’ll serve as a reminder of you. You can create amulets with your own hands for each occasion, or you can just give something small and personal, like a funny picture of you, a handkerchief that has your scent, a bracelet, and so on. At long distances, little “relics” remind our loved ones that we’re in fact still with them, and we’re always waiting for them to come back.
6. For mutual benefit
Rituals for self-development? Why not? Allow acquiring new knowledge to become a tradition in your relationship. For example, once every three months you can attend a master class, or finish a course together once a year. Now you’ll always have something common to talk about.
Don’t forget that a relationship is a living and breathing structure, and like all such things it needs daily, quality care.