Having friends is very important. They play an important role in our lives and make them more fulfilling and pleasant. But what if… they don’t? It seems like you have a friend, and you communicate and meet with them. But after each contact, you feel not fulfillment and joy but emptiness, melancholy, or vague discomfort.
If this happens to you – check your friendship for toxicity that could slowly poison any relationship.
- Your friend is always displeased with everything. While talking to them, all you hear is them complaining about people, the cost of living, their job, their boss, their spouse, the weather, etc. After spending time with them, you also start doubting that there is anything good in this world.
- They only reach out to you when something bad is happening in their life. When you feel bad – radio silence.
- They always compete with you. They have more achievements, their job is better, their partner is more caring, and even their problems are more significant. And your life – is so-so…
- They criticize everyone and everything. And you too, by the way. Everyone around them is “wrong”: stupid, greedy, ugly, dumb, unworthy, etc. They are the only worthy person in the whole world.
- They feel resentful. “Oh, you can’t accompany me? I will not talk to you. Why haven’t you replied to my text within one minute? I will block you!” Most of the time, you are being forced to justify yourself or guess what will be your “fault” tomorrow.
- They feel jealous of you: when you spend time with other friends, or at work, or even with your partner. They expect to take up all your thoughts and time!
- Your tastes and interests… are not very interesting. But theirs – are important! Your hobby is stupid. Your dress makes you look fat. Your guy is not sophisticated enough. Your job is a piece of junk. Etc., etc.
- After talking to them you feel… used. Sometimes – like a tissue to wipe their tears, sometimes – like a waste bucket for their complaints… When you have a problem, you have nobody to turn to – since they are always busy with their more important issues.
- They always know EVERYTHING and you are showered with suggestions that you haven’t asked for. “You must break up with him! If he does not buy you flowers – it means that he doesn’t love you! Maybe he has someone on the side? Have you thought about that?” “With your skin problems, only this cream will help. You don’t need your dermatologist’s prescription – what does she know! I will tell you what to do.”
- They are envious of your successes. Sometimes, they say it openly: “Of course… you have everything, and I…” “You have such a great guy, and I will have to be alone for Christmas…” “You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, and I need to work hard for everything”. Sometimes, they say it indirectly: “When will you get older, pretty woman? I am waiting and waiting – but age doesn’t get to you”.
Toxic friendships may have many signs. But the main one is your feelings. Do not ignore them! If after communication you always feel discomfort, resentment, a feeling of guilt imposed on you, etc. – time to run. Make the right choice – choose yourself.