How to stop mulling over an unpleasant episode

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Which of us has not encountered this situation: there was an unpleasant conversation, or you made some kind of mistake – and for the third day you have been turning what happened in your thoughts, going in circles? You can’t let it go, and again and again, experience anger, shame, or resentment.

How to get rid of obsessive thoughts that do not bring relief?

Technique 1. TV

Recall the disturbing situation. How much does it bother you on a scale from 1 to 10? If you need this technique – it is probably 7-9 points.

Now imagine that you are watching TV. On the screen, you see the very situation that worries you. You see yourself and the people involved from the outside – you are watching a movie.

Now imagine that the picture has changed, and you see something very pleasant: the seashore, the gentle sun is shining, the seagulls are screaming, the waves are beating against the shore… Look at the wonderful picture and enter the resourceful state. When positive emotions are at their maximum, choose a point in the body to anchor them. For example, press on the earlobe or put your fingers together in a certain way.

When you are ready, return the previous picture with the unpleasant situation to the screen. The remote control is in your hands. Start turning down the brightness of the picture and the sound. Remain an observer. The image becomes pale, the sound is quieter and quieter. You are in control of this situation; the remote control is in your hand. Repeat your gesture to turn on positive emotions.

When the picture completely fades away, sit for a couple of minutes. And then rate your level of concern about this situation on a scale from 1 to 10. Watch this sequence again until you get to 3-4 points.

You are free now!

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Technique 2. Closure

We are often worried about situations that were left unfinished: we did not say what we wanted, we could not defend ourselves, etc. Our brains react the same way to what happened in reality and to what happened only in our thoughts. Create the desired closure for the situation in your imagination.

Go back mentally to the situation and change what you want to change. If you fall in front of other people, imagine how your fall does not happen: you stumble, but do a graceful roll and stay on your feet. If a colleague was rude to you, and you were lost for words, reply to him with what you think is necessary. You can imagine him looking funny or ridiculous.

Open your eyes, exhale, and smile. Now you have closure for your situation.

Technique 3. Balloon

You will use visualization again. Remember the situation and all its specific details. Imagine that you have a magic balloon. Place this whole situation in it and add all your negative emotions there as well – resentment, worries, anxiety, and anger. Imagine how the balloon is filled with air, and then imagine tying it. Open the window and imagine how you release this balloon into the sky. Follow it with your mind’s eye until it becomes just a speck in the sky.


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