Often, really often, toxic, rude, ill-mannered people cover up their rudeness, calling it “criticism”. They’ll also shame you, they say, you really can’t stand the criticism? Boo,shame on you!
But it turns out that “boo” is actually the one who attacks you.
Let’s find out what is adequate criticism and what are inadequate, aggressive quibbles.
- Your work, actions, words, deed are criticized.
- The report contains incorrect dates, an unsuccessful color scheme was selected, and an error in the word was made.
- Criticism is exposed to your personality as a whole.
- Bungler, bad parent, mediocrity.
- Happens in private: in a personal conversation, a letter, a message. No witnesses and no behind closed doors.
- It happens for a show, making your mistakes public.
- It’s expressed in a calm tone, with respectful intonation, using normative vocabulary.
- Your project pays little attention to the security, and this is very important.
- Expressed in an aggressive or mocking tone, in raised tones, using offensive, insulting words and expressions.
- The whole project is a joke! With this kind of security, you’re going to have a deadline!
- The critic is well versed in this issue, has experience and knowledge on the topic under discussion.
- Articles criticize a philologist or journalist, a doctor’s error – a doctor of a higher category, scientific research – a scientist.
- Statements from incompetent and “random” people in this issue.
- It’s worth questioning the adequacy of criticism about manicure with a painting from a man with dirty, bitten nails.
- The critic points clearly out errors or blunders, confirming his opinion with examples.
- The choice of flax for this dress is unsuccessful, flax is a heavy material, it’s better suited for a trouser suit.
- The critic doesn’t explain his point of view, speaks vaguely, without explaining his opinion.
- Well, that’s no good! I don’t like this dress, it’s bad!
- Noting the shortcomings, the critic offers options to correct them, helps with advice.
- The design of this room is gloomy, you need bright accents: pillows, vases, tablecloths.
- Criticism is presented as a “final diagnosis” where nothing can be corrected and remade.
- The design is hopelessly flawed, it can be “in the furnace”, start over
- The critic admits that there may be other ways of evaluation, listens to the opinions of opponents, without claiming to be omniscient.
- It’s better to choose an operation, although representatives of other medical schools would offer medical treatment.
- The critic speaks as if his point of view is the only correct one, considering other views fundamentally wrong.
- Just surgery! What do they know about their pills?
- The critic evaluates the essential points, rather than the whole work, explaining what his opinion is based on.
- You have incorrect numbers at the top of the table, so the total ones are wrong.
- Criticism is completely irrelevant, the critic points out unimportant details, and introduces inappropriate evaluation criteria.
- The whole table is wrong, because the color and font have badly chosen!
- Criticism implies dialogue, you are given an opportunity to express your point of view, to say the words of justification.
- I agree that the bouquets are not original, but many of the flowers in the warehouse were lost due to temperature changes.
- The critic does not give you the right to speak out, believing that you have no right to make a mistake or that your opinion does not make sense.
I don’t want to hear any excuses! There are no” circumstances”, there are incompetent people!