Codependent relationships… with work

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Codependent relationships do not necessarily exist only in the context of romantic connections. Codependency is a personal trait. Therefore, all the communications created by the person will be permeated by one or the other codependent scenario. 

This is what it looks like in the sphere of employment: 

  • You feel discomfort in your career. You are not satisfied with your job, you feel bad, you are not able to realize your potential. But you don’t leave. You are hoping that things will work out somehow by themselves. Life will solve everything and present new opportunities for you. 
  • You are trying too hard. You are making an effort to prove yourself, to show that you are unique and irreplaceable. But, at the same time, you don’t know what specifically you expect in return – you either don’t know, or you don’t tell your employer about it. 
  • You think that they don’t appreciate you. You often feel resentful about it. 
  • Your boss may violate your boundaries and the chain of command. They may be rude, mocking you, making inappropriate comments, reprimanding you in front of everyone, and going through your personal things. And you tolerate all of this – how can you object? 
  • You are waiting for your bosses to guess that you would like a promotion or to change a position. You are following a rule: do not ask for anything, they will come and make an offer themselves. 
  • You feel jealous of other employees. You even feel jealous of projects and achievements (why did she succeed but not me). 
  • You job negatively affects your other areas of life – they simply don’t exist. All your time is consumed by work. 
  • You sacrifice yourself, your interests, your values, and your plans for the sake of work. And you don’t do it just every now and then – you do it constantly. 
  • In your relationship with your work there are two distinct phases: “everything is good” and “everything is bad”. 

If you recognize yourself in at least two of the items above, you need to reconsider your values and priorities. If you want things to change for the better, of course.  

Codependency can be dealt with – remember this.