Note that we didn’t write “good” or “high” self-esteem. Self-esteem is like love, it is either present or not.
First and foremost, self-esteem is what you know about yourself: what kind of person you are, what you are capable of, what you know, what you want, what your strengths are, what your weaknesses are, what skills you have, what skills you need to develop.
A developed self-esteem grants you the feeling of stability that’s very important for being happy.
Here are the 6 steps that will help you approach it.
1. What kind of person I am
Take a piece of paper and write down your qualities. Write down as many items as you can, preferably in detail. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Yes, write down your weaknesses as well and add notes on how you compensate them. Sometimes, weaknesses also have positive features, and your goal is to find them. For example, your shyness might serve you as a protection. And being slow helps to have time for the detailed analysis of the situation.
2. What you like
Start paying attention to the things you like, to the moments when you feel warmth spreading all over your body. Start keeping notes about it.
Of course, it would also be great to note (preferably in writing) the things you don’t like. This is all important knowledge about you.
3. A list of achievements
Write down everything that can be attributed to your achievements. Write down even the smallest things, because when it comes to your personality, everything matters.
This is often difficult for a person with an undeveloped self-esteem because their consciousness tries to depreciate all of their achievements. In this case, write down everything you were/are praised for by other people.
4. Do not scold yourself
Scolding and harassing yourself won’t make anything better. You know it.
It’s up to you to stop scolding yourself. Yes, it will require focus, especially at first. But it’s okay. When you need to pee, you wait until you can get to a toilet, right? It’s the same here.
You. Cannot. Scold. Yourself.
5. minutes of praise
5 minutes are nothing. However, they can grant you awesome results when it comes to working on your self-esteem.
Plan 5 minutes of self-praise daily. Set a timer and write down everything you did (or didn’t do) during the day. Add even the tiny details like washing the dishes and taking the trash out so that it doesn’t stink to the list.
6. Collect a puzzle
Likely, there are people you like, you might like their appearance, manner of talking, movements, qualities, etc. Make a list of everything you find attractive in them.
Now, have a close look at this list and assess every quality, how well it’s developed in you.
First of all, you will understand that you already possess many of the things you find amazing. Second of all, you will be able to define the areas that require some work without unnecessary self-criticism.
One more thing. Our diary is a great tool for building a great relationship with yourself and controlling your life. If you haven’t started keeping it yet, now is the best time to do it.