Quarantined apart: heroes & heroines of the lockdown

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What to do in the modern world when isolation separates you from a beloved one?

It’s worth noting that such an event as separation is already a difficult test. Besides, if it involves an indefinite period, stress and crisis, it simply becomes a source of endless melancholy.

First of all, let’s try to define a list of things, which can happen with your relationship.

There are really high chances that the overall tension will increase. It’s totally normal and understandable. Moreover, if you start to ‘pour’ this tension on each other, it means that the relationship for you is a safe zone where you can unload your stress and emotions. However, there is a downside. It’s hard to say that such emotional unloading will be useful for the process of communication. It’s important to avoid overloading your partner will each and every thing in your life. In addition, you should avoid pouring a wide range of complex emotions on each other.

It may seem that life is getting boring. It may seem unreal for you! Just look at what’s going on in the world! Nevertheless, each of us has more impressions, emotions, and activities in ordinary life. During the times of social isolation, the rhythm changes, while the number of events decreases. And there’s not so much to share.

Quarrels and irritation are the results of not being able to handle your own and others ‘ complex emotions and experiences, as well as the result of reduced resources. Everyone expects to be supported, or even pulled out by the other side, while your partner is barely ‘alive.’ It all ends with a lot of disappointment, followed by a collision, quarrels, and resentment.

We do hope that you have a little clearer understanding of what is happening in the world of your feelings and the feelings of the partner. Let’s move on to the key ways to solve the problem.

Here are our recommendations, which will help to get through this period:

  1. Diversify your conversations by adding new topics. Bring in a discussion of philosophical questions or funny games… analyze movies and books… imagine what you would do in the place of a particular character of a movie or a book.
  2. Keep and create rituals. Say “good morning!” and “good night!”… make dinner by using one of the numerous broadcasting apps, watch the same movie, and so on. Your task is not to focus on experiencing the apocalypse, but on maintaining the relationship. 
  3. Try having virtual sex. It will bring you closer. 
  4. However, you need to prepare for online dates in the very same way as for real ones. 

    Think about your appearance during the call and relieve tension before you can finally “see” your partner. 

    For example, you know that you will have a call at 18:20. First of all, put all things on hold at 18:00… you need to drop everything you have and think about the most important thing. Secondly, you have to move around. You can walk around the apartment, run, jump, dance, and prepare for this meeting. Don’t use your virtual meeting as a way to relieve stress and pour your emotions out. Try to do your best to get rid of them before starting the conversation and appear in a specific mood in front of the love of your life. 
  5. Don’t forget to flirt. Send encouraging messages, photos, and remind each other about the mutual interest between you and him or her. 
  6. Play. Come up with some fun games… you can even count cars by looking out of the window. Let it also become an interesting ritual. If you don’t have enough imagination, take any popular and well-known game. Such an approach distracts, relaxes, and therefore reduces the overall tension. 
  7. Bring certainty into your life. The current situation is too difficult because there is no clear time frame and plans. You have to create them at least in your relationship. We have to call each other at a specific time. We can watch a movie at another specific time and so on. You need to understand that at least something should be clear. 
  8. Don’t devalue your love. You don’t have to tell the following phrases: “don’t worry”, “just ignore”, “don’t be sad”, and “don’t think about it.” All these feelings are legitimate and appropriate in this situation. 
  9. Don’t drown each other. We are talking about anxiety, fear, and boredom. Everything is good, but only until a specific moment. You don’t have the resources to save each other now and drag each other from these seas of sorrow. It’s important to take responsibility for your condition. You are not allowed to make your partner responsible for it. We understand that now is the moment when it’s worth attracting the bright and positive things into the relationship. We know that you want to have a shelter to hide from the madness that is happening around you. 

And finally… Many people ask the following question: How to stop being bored?! The answer is… there’s no way to stop it. It’s normal to be bored and sad during the moment of separation. This energy can be channeled in different ways. You can use it to bring good, warm, new, tender things into a relationship. At the same time, you can burst into tears and swim in the world of gloom. We decided to bring something good!

Take care of yourself and your precious love!